Movie Theater Etiquette Part One- Who is to blame?

I BLAME VCR'S!!

Back in the day, well before my time, going to the movies was a big deal. People would get dressed up and go out to a lovely dinner and then go to a fine presentation of cinematic genius. Over the years, ticket prices went up and movie quality went down. Don't get me wrong, occasionally there is a great movie now and then, but they are far and few between and more than not WAYYY over-hyped. But the movies themselves are not to blame.

So I was a teenager in the 80's but even then we had RESPECT for the movie-going experience in the theater. Going to a big movie on Opening night was almost a religious experience where people knew how to behave. So what happened in the last 20 years to ruin it?

You probably think it was cell phones. Cell phones are freaking annoying and people who text message in the movies have a special place in Hell waiting for them. If you have to answer a call OR make a call OR text someone OR read a text OR read an email then GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR SEAT and go outside the double doors. I tend to sit in the back and very few things are more distracting than your phone. One thing that is more annoying?

BABIES AND CHILDREN do not belong in my theater!!! Now if I am watching Toy story 3 or even IronMan 2 I expect children, BUT if you need a CAR Seat for your kid then NO NO NO NO. Get a fucking babysitter. I actually saw some asshole walking a giant STROLLER up the stairs in a movie theater. WTF? AND if your baby/toddler/spawn starts to make noise or talk or cry then YOU MUST LEAVE the theater FOREVER and rethink your life. Most importantly, do not bring a child under the age of 10 into an R Rated movie. I don't care how mature you think your child is. Obviously the child has a moron for a parent so the child can't be that advanced. Which leads to:

NO TALKING. Be as loud and obnoxious as you want prior to the movie. Get it all out of your system because once the lights go down and the real Previews start to roll, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Funny scene in a movie? Laugh it up! Heroic moment that moves you? A Cheer is more than acceptable. Otherwise, no noise. Open your damn candy before the movie starts.

SO to get to my point, what ruined the movie experience? VCRs, DVD players, Home Theater Systems. People started watching movies at home. At home they lost the sanctity of the experience. Movies were meant to be "watched" with gusto, patience, and reverence. They were not meant to be the background to your ironing. That is what Television programs are for. And people brought those horrid home habits to the theater. They treat the movie house like they are at home. No respect, No discipline.

If you are one of these people then work on it. You are sharing something with others. The theater is a community experience. You are not at home so act appropriately. Do not tolerate bad behavior from your friends and family and especially yourself. Show some RESPECT.